When we want to shower love on kids, many of us turn to gifts. And there’s a lot to love about presents. Kids are so easy to shop for and nothing generates a big grin and genuine excitement like the sight of a wrapped gift. Everyone feels good. Win-win.
But if you really want to make them happier and perhaps even smarter in the long run, you may want to back off the trinkets, toys and sweets. Instead, divert your resources to providing kids with rich and varied experiences.
What kind of experiences? Just about anything, anywhere. They can be epic like a weekend getaway in the big city or a vacation in paradise. They can be as simple as spending an afternoon baking a cake or heading to a local event or festival. Or they can be something that doesn’t involve you at all, such as a gift card for a go-carting session or signing them up for a really fun activity taking place in their community. (Here’s a list of 42 ideas for experience gifts for kids, along with creative ways to wrap them up.)
Whatever it is you opt for, here are some of the advantages of making sure your kids are rich in experiences instead of the physical items.
Builds memories: Think back on your own childhood memories with a grownup you loved very much, whether it was a grandparent or a family friend. What is it that makes the memory glow? Was it the presents they gave or the time you spent together? Of course, many of us can recall a truly memorable gift that seemed to alter the course of our childhood. But for the most part, the experiences we had count the most.
Fertilizes the mind: One thing you’ll hear child development experts talk about is the enriched environment, which pretty much covers the experiences you can have in the 3-D world: socialize, move around, take things in with our senses and just learn how things work in the world. Researchers have found that kids who grow up in enriched environments have a higher IQ because they stimulate frontal lobe development in the brain. Another way to put it: getting out and doing stuff can make kids smarter.
Benefits mental health: We all have the daily grind. Work, commute, dinner, wrangle kids, rinse, repeat. What’s better than a nice, relaxing vacation to break free from that rut? Research shows that 94 percent of us return feeling happier and more energized after a trip. Whether you travel far or stick close to home, taking a break from the same-old, same-old can give everyone a lift in spirits.
It’s a welcome change from the usual: Speaking of the rut, if you were to chart the conversation topics with your child, we’d say 85 percent of what we say is probably directing them on what we want them to do next. Doing something fun together lets everyone relax, and gives kids a chance to have a positive experience with you.
Forges deeper bonds: Giving people experiences rather than physical gifts was far more likely to lead to improved relations between giver and recipient, according to the Journal of Consumer Research. What’s interesting about the findings is the recipient doesn’t have to participate to reap the benefits. That means if you discover a really great hands-on kid-centered activity (such as a Bricks 4 Kidz camp or after-school program), signing them up can also do positive things for your relationship.
Nothing’s wrong with physical gifts per se. A great gift with the thing they really want is also the stuff of happy childhood memories. But in the long run, if you’re feeling pressure to keep up with the Joneses and rack up the credit card bill, you can let yourself off the hook. Instead, explore some options that let kids see and experience something new in the world. Their brains will be the better for it.